How many of you ladies get along better with men? *shoots hand up*
How many of you find other women bitchy at that time of the month? *shoots hand hiiiiigher up in the air*
How many have been on the receiving end of a stinging, highly unfair, tetchy remark from a female colleague? *waves hand about frantically*
What is it about women, that we bring out the cat (the nasty, streetwise one, with claws that can tear a man’s balls to shreds) in each other?
Why is it that we have this urge to compete. Compete with every last sweat drenched eyelash, until we have stomped the offending usurping other woman into the dust. Leaving a quivering, emotional wreck, that no other man would want, and no boss in their right mind would promote.
In work, in life. Women compete against each other. Visciously.
Men, step aside.
You probably haven’t even noticed it. Most likely because it goes on in a hidden world of subtle, underhanded jibes, digs and shoves, horrible enough to make a grown man weep. (Admittedly, several grown men have probably already wept at the hands of said women)
Its kind of a secret paralell universe that men don’t seem to pick up on. Like dog whistles to the human ear, the daily woman-woman combat is not perceptible to the male species.
Or maybe they do see it, and just choose not to seeeee it. Not that I blame them.
From sibling rivalry (which sister gets the most love, attention, and pretty clothes), to ‘healthy’ competition between friends for the highest salary, the hottest man, the best designer clothes; We ALL succumb to the Amazonian Wars.
Unfortunately, some of this fighting is far from healthy.
Take today for instance. A new member of staff joined our team at work. She was a pretty, young thang. And she inexplicably got my shackles up immeeeeeeediately. My initial thought on being introduced to her was: ‘ugh she’s pretty’ (if you missed it, that was NOT a compliment)
Second thought was: ‘Ugh, they are going to be clamouring after her. Absolutely NO work will get done’
Now this may sound like the ravings of a jealous maniac, but I was genuinely concerned. For about 2 seconds.
I was mainly just upset that the attention would be drawn away from me!!!
Instead of being the nice, caring person that I am (Honest!) and showing her around, I was giving her daggers behind her back, and gossiping about her at the water cooler. Sigh.
What made my behavior even more appalling was that I was on the receiving end of such treatment not long ago. I was a newbie at work only 2 months ago! And the nice men on my team made the transition so easy, while the women…..well! The women! Hmph. They corroded my self worth in under 10 seconds flat. I spent the better part of a month picking up the tatters of my self esteem and sewing it back together, piece by painful piece.
Its so easy to get worked up and self-righteous when you are on the receiving end. But we are ever so quick to dish it out to others!
A female colleague recently gave me a dressing down in front of a room-full of seniors and fellow colleagues. The fact that I had shined brilliantly the day before, and made her ineptitude crystal clear (unintentionally) in front of the boss had absolutely nothing to do with it. Ahem. Yea right!
I would have put the incident down to normal work politics- only, I’ve never seen male colleagues viciously humiliate their peers with such relish. ‘Seek and Destroy’ missions are reserved only for our ruthless half of the species.
Instead of harping on about ‘sisterhood’ and ‘sisterly love’ , I will instead talk of ………….pretending.
If you can’t like your female colleagues. If you honestly just can’t be nice. If you want to claw your friend’s eyes out because she went and bought the same pair of shoes you LOVE, and deliberately wore them at your birthday shindig. PRETEND.
Just act like a loving, caring female. And eventually, it will start to catch on.
Women will start loving each other unconditionally. They will stop treating each other like an inconveniece to be endured. They will help each other out. Start a ‘Girl code’, where they do NOT steal each others boyfriends or husbands.
There shall be world peace. And an end to world hunger and human suffering.
I’d better get my head out of the clouds.
While I have been typing this, that new colleague is probably making eyes at the boss. Maybe I should too? Is she angling for a promotion? Heck, I haaaateed that her shoes looked so good on her! Sigh.
- Report: Women In Management Underrepresented And Underpaid [Women At Work] (jezebel.com)
- (9/2010) The End Of The Male-Dominated World (basilandspice.com)
- Study: Workers Think Lady Bosses Are Back-Stabbing Bitches [Women At Work] (jezebel.com)