I have such low moods. Cyclical. I’m sure its some sort of condition. Menstrual cycle related perhaps? It would be nice if i could predict their coming. I inevitably have a huge blow out with hubby. Without fail.
It’s like this anger bubbles inside me. And I push and prod, until I have an excuse to let it all out, on my unsuspecting (not entirely innocent ;)) hubby. Poor him. Its cathartic though. That release.
And then I spend the next month building it up again.
Now I really should do something about it.
Heard about this natural supplement I think I may look for it at the health food store and try it. I think its graca root or something like that. From Hey Fran Hey.
Lately though, I’m just in a funk. A really deep funk. That I can pop my head out of now and again. But inevitably slide back in. Like right now. In this moment.
It feels like my heart is stuck in quicksand. My whole body feels heavy with dejection. My mind feels foggy, and tingly. And mind numbingly slow. I feel sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo slow. Sad. And slow. And without motivation.
I’m forced to do however. Do…everything. Eat, drink, sleep, shower…look after my baby. Lol. Because life doesn’t stop for your low moods. And the fact that I’m forced to do. Makes me angry.
So I alternate between low mood and simmering anger.
Now, I realise this is my normal. To some extent. I’ve been like this since about 3rd year of University. So maybe 10 years or so.
I realise some people are just built that way. We don’t stay at equilibrium at all times. We are a bit off kilter now and again. And maybe that’s just how it is. Its okay.
I love myself anyway.
I feel horrible I subject my family to my outbursts now and again.
But I hope that the positive outweighs the negative. And the family giggle fest and sock fight (we were throwing socks at each other) made up for outburst later (when hubby woke up the baby for the THIRD time) To be fair the first two times, I didn’t complain at all….lol.
So all of you that can relate to this…hit me up.
Love and Kisses