Posts In My Head

I run around dreaming of writing.

Day in, day out, I walk around composing posts in my head.

I formulate paragraphs and sentences. Fill in the gaps with funny anecdotes.

All day. All in my head.

Why don’t I put pen to paper (or hand to keyboard)?

Well. Good question.

A baby, a full time job, and a husband, a house. A few reasons.

None, entirely good enough.

Hello writing! I’ve missed you.

I have much to say. And I will attempt to start from where we last left of.

I had a baby! His name is Simba. And he is the cutest little boy you ever saw. Alhamdulillah.

Readers, be prepared for lots of baby posts 😉

Lets …BEGIN!

xoxo

The Him You Have vs The Him You Want

The Him You Want:

Hot. Slim. Rock hard abs.

He listens when you talk.

He just GETS you.

He doesn’t judge …ever.

You can be your total and complete loco self with him.

He encourages you to be you.

He inspires you to be better.

He is your muse.

Your rock.

Your partner.

Your friend. Your very BEST friend.

He will listen to you go on and on about shoes, or your crappy day at work, or how your friend may or may not have said something mean to you.

He will listen patiently, and offer advice.

He will take you shopping. Even though he hates it.

He makes you soup when you’re sick.

He  makes you smile.

He makes you feel beautiful. Every day.

He makes you feel like a Goddamn piece of art. Even when you are at your worst.

Through his eyes, you grow. You start to see yourself as he sees you….Beautiful. And your insecurities fall away.

You are the apple of his eye.

And he is the icing on your cake.

He is a bit of a bad boi.

You can never get hold of him when you need him ..Mr. Unreachable.

He is moody, and deep.

Sensitive and arty.

Dangerous…..

Exciting?

The Him You Have:

He is annoying.

He doesn’t make you laugh.

He picks his teeth.

He doesn’t pick up his dirty boxers.

He is Mr. Practical and counts every penny.

He won’t let you buy that new hoover (you already have 3)

He does make a mean lasagne though.

He gets on with mum and dad. Knows how to keep them off your back so that you don’t have to shoot your brains out.

He is Mr. Responsible.

Never late.

Never broke.

Never not-there. He is your rock.

He is Mr. Fix it.

Not a single light bulb unchanged, nor a pesky hard to open jar, unopened.

The best person at a crisis.

Guaranteed to answer his phone. Help is on its way! He is Mr. Dependable.

He is your Mr. Right now, Right here.

The Him You Have.

If the Him You Have, and The Him You Want are the same person?

Congratulations.

Never leave him.

Be good to him.

Make sure he knows you love him every day.

If The Him You Have is who you DO have. I envy you. Do you feel like you settled? Settled for less? Or settled for the best?

Feeling secure in a relationship vs excitement and romance? The age old question that has eluded many a woman before us.

The lucky few get it all. So I hear.

I have yet to see substantial evidence of a relationship with BOTH Mr. Excitement and Mr. Dependable.

But exploding stars exist. So who am I to question what I haven’t seen with my own eyes.

I don’t know peeps.

I feel old. And I feel like we never DO get to the bottom of life’s difficult questions. They just remain unanswered and when we are dead and gone, a new batch of clueless young’uns repeat the journey of painful soul searching….

I guess, I guess, Its just about doing You. Being true to YOU. And the truth will follow (as will Mr. Whoever)…..

Peace out, yo

xo

PS: (I may have found a Mr. Perfect…though its early days…wish me luck!)

Fast Burn Relationships

Boom.

High passion is not for me. A slow burn, or a mellow indifference is my choice. Benzos over Coccaine.

What am I on about? Relationships ofcourse!

I’m talking about friendships, work relationships, ANY kind of interaction between two individuals.

The person who you’re attracted to most strongly – the one you have an uncontrollable gut reaction towards – is probably incredibly wrong for you. Either they are:

a) A photocopy of yourself. And therefore eventually, the mirror reflecting inadequacies in your personality every day becomes unbearable. The relationship eventually crashes and burns.

Or,

b) Your ‘soul mate‘. Maybe you really are ‘made’ for each other. In the same way nitrous oxide and oxygen are made for each other.  After a short sizzle, sparks of romance and excitement…Boom. The relationship explodes into smithereens.

You know the friendships where initially you are inseparable? You think you are soooooooooo in sync. You understand each other compeletely. You spend hours talking, deep into the night. You get on famously. Are constantly in each others pocket…..Well, won’t last. Can’t last.

My point: Intensity of that kind is not sustainable. And the relationship is therefore pre-destined to fail.

I prefer the slow burn kind of ‘-ships’. The ones where you gradually get to know each other. Slowly come to understand what makes the other person tick. Build up respect, and eventually love.

On the other hand, I may be wrong. See I draw from my not-so-deep well of experiences. In the big bad world out there, there are reports of  ‘instant clicking’ resulting in happy, long term marriages. (Click: The Magic of Instant Connections) Researchers talked to 1000 couples, and found that after 25 years of marriage, those with ‘instant click’ still had romantic thoughts about their partners and thought about them frequently throughout the day.

I, however ascribe to the other school of thought: The couples that fart together, stay together. Lol. The strong reaction you’re having, that ‘gut’ feeling, is probably the dodgy curry you ate last night. What I say is, before falling lock, stock and barrel for the business partner of you’re dreams….take a while to really get to know them before you sign any contracts.

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