Posts In My Head

I run around dreaming of writing.

Day in, day out, I walk around composing posts in my head.

I formulate paragraphs and sentences. Fill in the gaps with funny anecdotes.

All day. All in my head.

Why don’t I put pen to paper (or hand to keyboard)?

Well. Good question.

A baby, a full time job, and a husband, a house. A few reasons.

None, entirely good enough.

Hello writing! I’ve missed you.

I have much to say. And I will attempt to start from where we last left of.

I had a baby! His name is Simba. And he is the cutest little boy you ever saw. Alhamdulillah.

Readers, be prepared for lots of baby posts πŸ˜‰

Lets …BEGIN!

xoxo

Silky Shirts


Okay I know it isn’t in good blogging form to post many posts at once.

But hey, you guys know me by now.

I err, disappear for a while, and then suddenly WHAM! A mass of posts at once πŸ™‚

This is my favourite silk shirt. I love the colour. It works well casual or formal.

Hijabi Work Wear

I have been a bit lax at updating the blog with my new looks. I have however been taking pics πŸ™‚ So shall be posting them one by one.

Here was yesterdays look.

Its summer and I love the contrasting pastels πŸ™‚

Enjoy

Uncomfortable

I make people uncomfortable.

I don’t know why or how I do it.

I just do.

See.

I’m brown.

I’m a woman.

I’m educated.

And clever.

I’m Arab.

And Muslim.

I also have a big Afro.

Did I mention I was African too?

A female, brown skinned, Muslim, afro sporting, Arab-African.

I just put so many different kinds of people on edge …it would be funny if it wasn’t a little tragic.

Why do people feel so affronted by what or who I am?

I find myself constantly explaining myself:

I am Kenyan. Yes. But I am Kenyan Arab. Yes, I am Arab by ethnicity. Originally my family were from the middle east.

I am not poor.

Even though I am African.

I am not oppressed. Even though I am a Muslim woman wearing Hijab.

I am not married. And I do not have 10 kids. *Grits teeth* Even though I am a Muslim woman wearing Hijab.

I will not straighten my hair. It grows out of my head this way.

Yes, I know I speak good English.

Yes, we have Muslims in Kenya.

Yes, *groan* my parents paid lots of money for my university education. Sorry to disappoint you I’m not poor. Even though I am African.

I spend my day deflecting these kind of questions.

Sometimes, I feel, wouldn’t it be easy, to try out being white and blonde for one day?

Just so that I can be the current post card version of what the world seems to deem ‘ideal’.

And then I remember its kind of fun being me.

It just so happens that I am many labels all at once.

And people have a field day trying to choose which label to ascribe to me each day.

Am I Muslim?

Or am I Muslim and Black?

Or am I Muslim and Arab?

Or am I an Educated Muslim Woman?

Or maybe today I am a poor African?

Maybe I should use that to my advantage πŸ˜‰

xx

Beautiful People

Beautiful.

Inside and out.

An Angel.

Allah made you so.

 

Would that I could

Be even a little like you.

You held my hand.

When no one else could.

You wiped away my tears.

When no one else would.

 

Would that I could.

Show you.

How much that meant to me.

 

I could never,

Ever,

Ever.

Thank you enough.

Ψ₯Ψ―ΨΉΩŠΩ„ΩŠβ€Ž

Hijab Wedding Style

Thats me πŸ™‚ For my cousins wedding.

Basically, a new Hijab Evening Style.

You take your dress to the fabric store. Pick out fabric that matches the dress (mine was pink)

And then go to the salon to get the lady to pin it up in an elaborate Up-do.

You can add brooches (Like my gold one, because my dress had gold accents), or flowers, or whatever else takes your fancy.

Use different kinds of fabrics, glittery, satiny, silk etc etc

Basially, LOTS OF FUN!!!

Muslim Man Seeking Wife

I never knew how difficult it was for muslim men to actually find a wife.

Until my cousin started looking πŸ˜‰

Its not that simple.

When we are on the other side (the girl side) we sit there, hands folded, saying: ‘Where are all the good muslim men at??’

Unbeknownst to us, the men are doing the same thing!

They are complaining to their mothers and sisters and aunties, that it is difficult to find a good muslim girl to marry. Really.

Trust me.

This whole new modern age has thrown us for a loop.

Long gone is the age of aunties and grandmas recommending beautiful girls, and successful boys and making perfect matches.

Nowadays, people travel to study all across the globe. Girls are working in America, London, Australia. Equally perfectly eligible boys are trapped in an office in Dubai, Boston, Dallas.

We have lost the old fashioned ways of traditional arranged marriages.

So what replaces it?

That is the big question.

Do we date?

Do we meet guys on Facebook?

Do we join online Muslim dating sites and put up our ‘Bio Data?’ (said with the perfunctory Indian head nod. Lol)

Do we ask our sisters and aunties to look around for us and recommend someone appropriate?

And then what happens when you DO get a recommendation? What then??????

What are the rules of engagement?

Does he come and propose straight away?

Or can we chat for a bit on Skype and whatsapp?

Should I tell my mum immediately someone is interested in marrying me? What happens if it doesn’t work out?

Complicated I tell you.

Having been through the system myself….I can tell you. Its complicated.

I can only say:

Be open. Be honest. Pray to Allah.

Do not underestimate the power of prayer.

Allah wants us to pray to him.

Ask him, and he will answer.

My aunty told me a story of a guy who used to pray to Allah for a wife. He initially started by saying Allah, please let her be the one who is Kheir (good) for me. But also, he added a list of specifications. Green eyes, long hair, nice in character, religious..etc etc. He had an incredibly detailed list of specifics. However which each specification, he kept praying that above all, and most important may she be kheir for him.

When his family recommended a girl for him, and he met and married her, he was amazed. It was as though a girl was actually made to his exact specifications especially for him. She had all the features he had asked for and more. And Allah put between them a great love.

Do not underestimate the power of prayer.

Pray to Allah.

Also ask him to bring you closer to the person who is good for you. Kheir for you.

And secondly, be open minded.

He isn’t tall and muscular? Don’t dismiss him off the bat. Be open to considering him. Maybe he has other features you will love?

He doesn’t have the best job in the world (you wanted a Neurosurgeon like McDreamy in Greys)…well, just give him a chance. Maybe once you two are together, Allah will open doors you did not expect,and he will end up being richer and more respected than a Neurosurgeon.

Sometimes, I wish I could start a real system connecting people.

I know so many gorgeous, perfectly lovely men wanting to get married.

And so many gorgeous, perfectly lovely girls also wanting to settle down.

Now all I need to do is dust of my matchmaking skills and get to work ;p

I am accepting applications. Lol.

Also, I am still waiting for my Prince Charming, with hazel eyes and a 6 pack …;) But OVERALL, may he be kheir for me πŸ˜‰ hehe.

xx

The Modern Muslim Husband

Islam

So nowadays people seem to have such a modern take on relationships.

A good friend of mine just told me about how he definitely wants a wife to contribute to the running of the house and their lives.

Well that in and of itself is not a bad thing.

But the fact that he listed that as a requirement and was adamant that it was a necessity and a requirement of her. I had to protest.

Islamically, the roles in marriage are set out very clearly.

The man is the provider. It is his Wajib (compulsory) responsibility to provide for his wife and children.

The wive’s Wajib responsibility is to take care of the home, her husband and her children.

If the two decide, amongst each other, to help the other out, and blur the clear roles…that is due to the Iman and love that Allah has put between them.

Okay let me make myself more clear.

A husband is required to take care of his wife completely. Even if she works, whatever money she makes is hers and hers alone. She has no obligation to pay electricity bills or buy a fridge or even milk and bread.

IF she decides she wants to help her husband and her children and work as a team, that is entirely up to her. And she will do that out of Iman and love.

In the same vein, the husbands role is to provide. Not to look after the children and change diapers. IF however he decides to help feed the baby because his wife was up all night with the child, then that is from his Iman and love.

The clear roles are defined so that there is no miscommunication. No ill feelings. No resentment.

If one decides to go above and beyond those roles, it is looked on favourably by the other spouse and acknowledged as the him/her having made an extra effort.

For example, if I work and with my money, I pay the bills, and the mortgage. I want my husband to acknowledge that I am helping him. And that I am a good wife, doing this out of love.

In the same vein, if he does the laundry and the dishes and feeds the baby, I will be grateful, and acknowledge that he is a wonderful husband.

I will not thank him every single day he goes to work to provide for his family, in the same way he will not have to thank me each time I change a nappy and for having given birth to our child. It is our respective duties and what is expected.

I don’t know if I am being clear enough.

I want an Islamic Marriage. With all its trappings.

I want a husband like Rasulullah (S.A.W) who would help out around the house and darn his own clothes.

I want to be a wife like bibi Khadija (R.A) who was independent and worked, and initially supported her husband when it was necessary.

People may call that modern? I call it an Islamic Marriage.

I will not bend to todays popular version of what is acceptable or a la mode or fashionable in a marriage.

Today, it is feminist rights, and being exactly EQUAL to a man.

Tomorrow, women may be screaming its actually their right to be taken care of by the man when they are pregnant and not HAVE to work or contribute.

Popular opinion, and societies view of what is popular and acceptable in relationships will change. It changes all the time.

This whole feminist approach is tres new. A few decades ago, it wasn’t there. And a few decades later, it may be scrapped and people may start a hue and cry about something else.

Just because it is popular, doesn’t mean its The Definitive Truth and what I have to want/follow.

Islam is timeless.

Regardless of what is a la mode.

So for now, I choose an Islamic Marriage.

Please lets stop getting caught up with what we see in movies, and what we are brainwashed to believe relationships and marriages are about.

Unless you want multiple affairs, mistresses, divorces within days (a la Kim Kardashian)….then you can go ahead and follow your latest ROMCOM movie for relationship advice.

Otherwise, Β I would recommend you choose for yourself which kind of relationship you want.

And go back to Islamic principles.

May Allah give me, and all others the right kind of partner, ambaye ana kheri na mimi (who is Kheir for me)

xx

Hijabi Work Wear: Bright Colours

Don’t be afraid to go BRIGHT.

When its dark and gloomy weather outside, colours will lift your mood and make for a better work day.

Top: New Look, 15 pounds, Scarf: New Look, 7 pounds, Trousers: River Island, 30 pounds, Wedges (not picture): ASOS, 30 pounds.

Hijabi Work Wear : Beige

I love random hijabs. This hijab I like because the pattern (close up) looks like ice cream cones.

The trousers were a bargain from Gap. They were in the Christmas sale for 15 pounds. Down from 45 pounds. Bargain, yes? πŸ˜›

They were long, so I had to hem them…and I HATE hemming!

But I recently discovered ‘Magic Hemming Tape’, which has now given me the licence to shop in the Sales section..without worrying about looking for Petite sizes!

Previously, I only found petite trousers SOMETIMES Β in Gap, River Island,Β Dorothy Perkins and Next. The key word being SOMETIMES. LOL. Usually the best/most fashionable trousers are only available in ‘Long’. Grr.

Most of us are SHORT dammit! Why don’t they provide for us?

*Sob*

Besides, Im not THAT short. (5’1 isn’t thaaat short. Honest!)

My taller friend has a problem in that she is too tall for ‘short’ trousers. And too short for ‘tall’ trousers. She falls somewhere in between. Again, the magic hemming tape came to the rescue.

You basically just iron it on.

See?…..MAGIC! :p

And if you hate sewing (like me) or, you’re too busy (like me) …this will be a time saver.

Costs like 2 pounds from Tesco. Look in the sewing section (in the beauty aisles)

Aaaanyway, here’s the outfit.

Again, was rushing out the door to work. So don’t be too harsh πŸ˜› I promise I shall get better at self-taken pics. *Pause* *Insert self-deprecating humour* :p

(Hijab: HnM 10 pounds, TShirt: Zara 12 pounds, Cardigan: HnM 9 pounds, Trousers: Gap 15 pounds, Leopard print flats, not pictured, 15 pounds Claires)Β 

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