Beautiful People

Beautiful.

Inside and out.

An Angel.

Allah made you so.

 

Would that I could

Be even a little like you.

You held my hand.

When no one else could.

You wiped away my tears.

When no one else would.

 

Would that I could.

Show you.

How much that meant to me.

 

I could never,

Ever,

Ever.

Thank you enough.

إدعيلي‎

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SunniPath – The Online Islamic Academy

SunniPath

Sunni Path

I cannot more strongly advise, encourage or recommend this site.

Mashallah it is what we have all been waiting for.

Instead of sitting back and complaining about lack of knowledge, the evil of the internet, sheiks who are not modern and are falling behind the culture of today and thus not able to advise us…..

Some wonderful people have created SunniPath.

There are online lectures and courses. Places where you can post questions.

About everything and anything.

Sexual Intimacy.

Marriage, family and divorce.

Menses and Womens questions.

Answered by scholars using Quran and Hadith and Sunnah.

Educate yourselves. Arm yourselves with knowledge.

http://qibla.com/

http://spa.qibla.com/

🙂

xx

Having More Than One Wife In Islam

Symbol of Islam, the name of Allah, simplified...

So I have just had a discussion with some of my friends.

And they raised an issue that is often the heated topic of choice in many ‘girl talk’ sessions.

Should a man be allowed to have more than one wife. Islamically.

If you were a woman, whose husband wanted a second wife, would you agree?

What would you say? What would you think?

Islamically, what is the ruling on this.

A hot topic, yes?

It is also one of the favourite topics Non-Muslims use to highlight the supposed ‘neathanderal’ attitudes of Islamic culture.

In any case, here are the some of the issues we talked about. (Using a fictional discussion amongst fictional characters of course 😉 )

Three girls sat around the kitchen table having coffee, and a much needed catch up session. The topic of Polygamy in Islam comes up.

Aisha: I WOULD NEVER ALLOW MYSELF TO BE  A SECOND WIFE. Never. Ever. Ever. I would die before I let that happen. I would leave him. I would not stand for it. Ever.

Hajra: Well, aren’t you Muslim though?

Aisha: Well Of course I am.

Hajra: In that case, in Surat Nisa it says:

“… marry women of your choice, two, three, or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one…(Surah al-Nisa, 3).

Hence it is allowed! How can you call yourself a Muslim, if you don’t agree with what is in the Quran? You cannot pick and choose what you like in Islam.

Aisha: Weeell. I still wouldn’t be able to handle it. Honestly and truly. I just couldn’t do it. Allow my husband to sleep with another wife? Allow her to live with us for example? Allow him to look after her children as well. I know myself. I would not be able to.

Rabiyah: Okay. Well, none of you have mentioned the criteria. The requirements. In the ayah it says that a man should be able to treat all of his wives equally. And only IF he can do this, is when he is allowed to marry more than one wife. Men are human. There is no way they can treat all the wives equally. Allah knows this. Which is why he put the requirement in place. To dissuade men from going around and marrying wives left right and centre.

Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “A man who has two wives and he does not deal justly with them will be resurrected on the Day of Judgment with half his body paralysed.” (Sunan Tirmizi, no. 1141)

If he buys butter in one household, then he must buy butter in the other household. Not margarine. If one wife has a car, then the other should have one as well. The number of nights should be shared equally with the wives. The wifely duties should be distributed equally.

If a man can truly do this, then and only then is he allowed to marry more than one wife. If he is not financially capable of maintaining all the wives in an an equal manner, or not emotionally able to be fair between them, then he should stay with just the one wife.

ALSO, there are reasons. There should, ideally, be specific reasons for a man to go out and marry a second wife.

If she is ill.

If she is unable to bear children.

If she cannot meet his sexual needs because of illness.

Genuine. Real. Reasons.

Not randomly, because he has seen a ‘hot  piece of ass’ and feels like he can go ahead and enjoy life by having more than one woman.

Aisha: Even with all the reasons you have listed. I would still not be able to handle it! Because after all, he has promised to be with me through thick and thin. Just because I am ill, he decides he wants another wife? And throws me to the curb? I just would not be able to tolerate it. At all!

Hajra: Well, even you, as a woman, you have similar rights. If your husband is impotent, or he has an illness and can not look after you, you are allowed Islamically to ask for a divorce and get another husband. But if you choose to have subra, and stay and work things out and look after your husband, your reward of course will be from Allah. And that may be better for you. The same goes for a man.  Yes he is allowed a second wife if his first wife is ill or cannot meet her wifely duties. However, if he chooses to have subra and stay with his one wife, Inshallah that may be better for him.

Rabeya: I think, I think, and I may be wrong. But, men are created differently compared to women. They may have a stronger sexual drive. And perhaps weakness when it comes to women. So Allah has created this caveat. This ‘clause’ so to speak. To allow for this ‘weakness’. Would you rather your man went out and cheated on you with a hundred women, as they do in the Western world? Or would you rather he made the young girl respectable? Married her and looked after her.

A lot of women don’t mind the extra help. It means company. There are two of you. You work together to look after the household and your husband and your children. I know saying that is controversial. And a lot of people may label me ..I don’t know…ignorant or oppressed or brainwashed for having such ideas. But Polygamy is not a new concept. It has been practiced in many cultures across the world for centuries, and still is! It has been devilised by the Western world. Yet look at their society; Divorce, affairs, mistresses. Well, at least a higher rate of. Because even in Muslim societies those things exist.

And also, its not to say there will be no difficulties. There will be jealousy. Potential strife. Disagreements.

However, that doesn’t mean it can’t work. Or you should dismiss it because it does not fall in line with your ‘feminist’ views of the world.

Aisha: I am not being feminist as you say. I am just saying what would or would not work for me. I am an individual at the end of the day. And what works for one individual may not work for another. Some women may be happy with that kind of situation. I must say, I am not one of those. And I have clearly stated to my husband; If he marries another wife, I will leave him.

Rabeya: Subhanallah. But I do see your point about you being an individual. Fair enough.

Hajrah: Yes, I see your point. And besides its easier said than done. Saying : ‘A man can marry more than one wife’ in theory, is all well and good. But when it is YOUR husband, it is a different matter all together. And the subra, and strength, and Iman it takes, is not a small thing. And I truly believe for the women who manage to accept this, and live with their husbands and co-wives well, their reward is with Allah and He recognises and sees the sacrifice they have made.

Aisha: In any case. Allah knows best.

Hajra: Yes, all we can do is pray that we are doing the right thing. And leave the rest to Allah.

Aisha: Yeah. But I would kill him. If he did that. I really would.

*All Laugh*

Rabeya: Staghfirullah!

*More peals of laughter*

My views and that of my friends may be flawed. But it is from the little knowledge we have, from the little we have gleaned from our parents relationships, our friends marriages and what we have seen around us. Insha’allah, may Allah guide us all towards the righteous path. And keep us from Naar and protect us all. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong, or add to the discussion. I welcome any new knowledge, Hadiths, Ayahs.

🙂

Smooches!

The Modern Muslim

Londonistan: How Britain is Creating a Terror ...

You may think a lot of Muslims are ‘modern’ nowadays.

You may assume that a lot of us chill in bars and discos and smoke or drink.

Perhaps we have girlfriends and boyfriends and ‘life partners’

This may be partially true, however there is a strong undercurrent of a different kind of new age Muslim.

Who has information at his fingertips.

Quraan downloaded on his ipod, podcasts of his favourite Sheikh’s lectures, and online lectures at an Islamic University.

Educated.

Young.

and Muslim.

The Modern Muslim, is an empowered Muslim.

The Extremely Moderate Muslim

Hadith Oliyankara Juma Masjid

As Muslims, our religion and self-image have been dragged through the gutters since 9-11.

We are terrorists. We are evil. We are Arab men with gutteral accents and big beards with even bigger guns. We are inhumane. We kill innocent women and children. In fact we hate women. We are basically the Armageddon and the Devil and the Axis of Evil, all rolled into one.

That is what is being shoved down our throats on a daily basis.

Movies.

Media.

Newspapers.

Airports.

Profiling.

Basically everywhere you turn, we are being stoned, boo-d, and heckled for being Muslim.

Now, Muslims have responded to this atrocious assault at our faith in different ways.

Some have become more devoted. Learnt all the passages in the Quran and Hadith relevant to making astute counter arguments when having to defend Islam against any nay-sayers.

Some have learnt to live with it. Just developed thick skin and learnt to turn the other cheek.

Others have chosen to bury their heads under the sand. Denial City. If I cannot see all the hate and the insults and affronts to my religious beliefs, maybe they will….go away?

And finally, some have decided to go down the ‘Moderate Path’

Idiot: (To generic brown man) ‘Hey you! Osama! ‘ *Cackles*

Brown man: ‘Who? Me? Nah mein! My name is A-dawg!’ (It’s actually Ahmed)

Idiot: ‘You are..are..a terrorist! (Best insult he can think of) Go back to where you came from!’

Brown man: ‘ No, no. I’m one of the ‘good’ Muslims. I don’t do any of that crazy shit. I’m cool. Look! *Downs a beer* See? Look, look! *Grabs a girl’s ass* Don’t you see??? I am totally for gays. And for lesbians too. Even though I don’t swing that way. I also love women’s rights! I don’t mind if a woman is a stripper, or wants to wear underwear as outerwear! I am one of you!’

Okay, so I am exaggerating a little.

But lately, I have noticed that we go to great lengths to make non-Muslims more comfortable in our presence.

And if that means saying: ‘I’m okay with gays!’

Or: ‘I don’t mind if you drink beer while I just sit here and watch and get bored’

We are basically trying so hard to say: ‘I am not a terrorist. I am not like them. I am a moderate, normal Muslim.’

Moderation is recommended in Islam. In fact it is lauded. By Hadith and Sunnah.

The problem is when people take moderation too far.

In trying so hard to blend in , and be LESS OBTRUSIVELY MUSLIM, we forget who are.

We become pseudo Muslim.

Be wary the path you choose to walk down.

You may make your co-workers less uncomfortable.

You may feel better about yourself because that brain-washing from T.V has started to make you question if you are actually as evil as they claim.

You may even make more friends and have more fun this way. (After all, GayBestFriends look like soooo much fun on T.V)

But do it with self-awareness.

Accept that you are now a fraud.

A shell of what you once were.

An ‘Extremely Moderate Muslim’

Weak Tea Muslims

Bismillah, the first verse of the first "...

How many of us are guilty of this?

We are afraid of being labelled radicals. Especially Post 9/11 and 7/7

Afraid of bringing our religion into our workplace, into our friendships, into a shop…

As Muslims, we try to be as unobstrusive as possible in our dealings with the world.

Keep our Islam watered down.

Just like weak tea.

If its barely there, I won’t offend anyone. Won’t upset anyone.

Tread lightly, and they will leave me alone.

Hmmm.

Shame on us!

Example 1: The non-Assalaam Alaikum

Muslim brothers and sisters out there do not LIKE to say Asalaam Alaikum. Instead, they prefer Hi! Hello! Wassup!

If you dare say Asalaam Alaikum to sister at work, she will breezily respond with…’Hi!’

Hi?? Really?

The first time that happened to me I was perplexed. But shrugged it off. Maybe she misheard me. Maybe it was just force of habit.

The second time, I received a fervently whispered ‘Waalaikum Salaam’ I had to squint and move closer to hear what she was saying. She even glanced about guiltily, hoping no one had overheard her.

Ahem.

Seriously?

Are you afraid people will think you are a terrorist for responding with a ‘Waaliakum Salaam’??

Scenario 2: The ‘I-will-not-cause-drama’ rule

This one I have been guilty of.

Someone senior to me at work made a derogatory comment about Islam. It was not overtly insulting. More implied. But it was there. Hanging in the air. Just…waiting.

Now, it was the first time I had worked with that person. And I was not willing to start causing drama. We were also in front of a few junior staff. I decided some battles, are worth fighting another day.

But I still feel like I should not have let it slide.

I still feel like I should have said something.

I don’t know….

However, there are other times where I HAVE been known to stand up and make some noise when someone has been intentionally insulting towards Islam.

Last week, a colleague said Arabic was a ‘disgusting’ language. It sounded ‘angry’ and ‘guttural’. Now I know that’s not a direct insult towards Islam. But the language of the Quran is Arabic. So I politely pointed out that it depends on where she had heard that ‘guttural’ Arabic spoken, and by whom (different dialects, different localities, different accents) And plus, she should try listening to Quranic recitations.

The girl looked at me like I had recommended she fly to the moon.

Nonetheless, I had made my point.

Example 3: The Undercover Muslim

This is the one I reeeeeeeeeeeally don’t get.

A guy has a name as Muslim as : Abdallah Mohammed Al-Ansari (for example)

Yet he really, truly believes, people don’t know he is Muslim. And he wants to keep it that way.

He drinks. He parties. He chills with the boys.

He is just a regular guy.

So when you walk up to him and ask him where the nearest prayer room is, you are blowing his cover dammit!

Lol.

The guy goes white as a sheet, looks around for his ‘homies’, thanks God they are not around, and proceeds to brush you off with a gruff : ‘How should I know?!’

SMH

Brother, please.

Would you like some sugar with that weak tea?

Example 4: The Ramadhan Phenomenon

This one I am sure everyone has experienced. Once Ramadhan comes around, even the closet muslims, come out of their proverbial closet, and renounce food and drink from sunset to sundown. However the resilient few, try to sneak a few snacks here and there.

You can smell their guilt from a mile away.

They know this too.

Which is why they avoid other Muslims like the plague.

I don’t CARE that you are not fasting. Stop hiding from me and ducking around corners! Lol. Or maybe that was just people avoiding me due to BO (Body Odour)?? *Sniffs armpits*….Nah….

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’m a perfect Muslim. Far from it.

And I am not advocating people start screaming  ‘I AM A MUSLIM!!!!’ at the top of their lungs.

I am just saying: BE PROUD. STOP BEING ASHAMED. STOP BEING SCARED.

Be Muslim.

Don’t be obtrusively Muslim. Or Agressively Muslim. Or even fanatically Muslim.

Just be …simply Muslim. Honestly Muslim. Unashamedly Muslim.

Stop being a Weak Tea Muslim.

Salaam Alaikum

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