How To Sell Yourself

Bangladeshi wedding at Dhaka

Have you ever thought how much you are worth?

If you had to lay out your best attributes and features one by one.

How much do you think you would be worth?

Not monetary wise – but your worth.

Your value.

Would you be a catch?

If so, what makes you think you ARE a catch?

Are you:

Educated?

Beautiful?

Slim?

Polite?

Humble?

Giving?

Adventurous?

Religious?

Family oriented?

What positive attributes do you think garner more value?

Hmm.

I was thinking about the past.

And how a certain ex, could have been considered by many as a very appealing or, if you will, worthy package.

However, it meant naught to me.

It was like having a massive, juicy burger in your hands.

Yet, you are craving a pizza.

No matter how nice that burger is. You just don’t feel like it.

You want a pizza!

But one persons pizza….is another persons burger.

LOL!

I am beginning to talk in circles and metaphors – eek!

Hehe.

My point is… (yes, there was a point after all. Honest! ;-))…. we all have somebody out there for us.

Because our exact packaging, though not so weighty to some – may be incredibly valuable to others.

So ‘Excellent cook, listener, calm and quiet ‘ could be exactly what someone is looking for.

Whilst ‘ Noisy, adventurous, humorous and loves to travel’ could be somebody else’s dream husband.

Don’t sell yourself short.

You are worthy.

It’s all about a good sales pitch! 😉

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Low Self Esteem and Men Who Don’t Care

Men are intrinsically little boys.

Really they are.

What you heard about them on ‘Maury’ and ‘Oprah’ and all those day time talk shows. Its all true.

Fundamentally, they want to be told what to do, and what not to do.

And they need. NEED. Someone to lay the boundaries for them, and MAKE them stick to it.

Okay not all guys.

That would be generalising.

Which is not what we do here 😉 right?

So SOME guys. ..like to be-little their significant others.

Its a trend.

Its a thing.

A thing I have noticed again and again.

So much so that I had to write about it!

I have had enough of advising my girlfriends on this annoying species of Man (read cockroach) that I felt it necessary to make sure the rest of you aren’t enduring the same kind of cockroach.

Now this kind of cockroach, tends to be an insecure mess.

He doesn’t show it.

Nooooooo.

He is an insecure macho mess.

He portrays a really strong front though.

He acts tough.

And is usually the boss of the relationship.

Nothing wrong with that so far.

Problem is, he has picked a strong woman.

ESPECIALLY since he is insecure and really a weakling at heart. He tends to seek out stronger women.

And then when he HAS said strong woman. He gets terrified he will lose her.

And he gets…

intimidated by her strength.

And overwhelmed by her independence.

And beauty.

And basically realises he is a cockroach that has managed to snag a princess somehow.

And he gets terrified.

TERRIFIED.

Terr- I – fied.

With a capital ‘T’

That he will lose her.

So he begins to break her down.

‘Princess is too good for me.

I know it.

She knows it.

All the other men she works and interacts with know it to.

Its only a matter of time until she leaves me.’

Cockroaches brain spins around and around and around.

‘The only way out is to make sure she doesn’t realise how good she is.

How strong she is.

How hot she is.

That way, that way….

She will never have the confidence to leave me.’

And the sabotage begins.

Cockroach undermines every decision you make.

Calls you  a’pretty little thing’

Makes you feel like you can’t make a single decision in your life, to SAVE your life!

And then starts with breaking down your self esteem.

He starts by casually mentioning that maybe you should hit the gym.

Or on reaching for that second slice of pizza, he gives you a face. The ‘Maybe you shouldn’t do that’ face.

Or maybe, he asks you if your dress is too tight.

If he gets away with the so called ‘subtle’ hints, and sees your self esteem cracking before his eyes…

It escalates.

Now he feels brave enough to call you ‘fat’ to your face.

He may even throw in a few names.

‘Elephant’

Likens you to a popular Tv host.

Maybe calls you a ‘Chunky’

Ah ha! Since that stage of the plan is working, he continues in his resolve to secretly make you an emotional wreck.

‘You are too emotional!’

‘Only a woman would say that kind of nonsense’

Sigh.

Need I go on?

So many friends of mine seem to have boyfriends or husbands like this.

It is not a coincidence.

Its a pandemic.

Its a generation of men, who were bred to believe they wanted a strong woman.

However, they have never learnt how to treat or deal with a strong woman.

So while their heads tell them they want a strong woman, their neathanderal hormones kick in, and tell them that they need to break this woman down, because she is stronger than him.

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his woman.

It also doesn’t mean he even realises what he is doing.

And I am not saying, by any means, to leave your husbands or boyfriends.

Just to recognise it for what it is.

And stop it in its tracks before it gets worse.

So the next time your boyfriend says you ought to go the gym…

Parry with a ‘Well your paunch is starting to look like it needs some work too’

Or maybe even call him up on it.

If he wants to call you fat. Let him say it to your face.

And  then you can say you feel you are sexy and hot the way you are. And if he doesn’t like it, tough. Because he knew what package deal he was getting when he signed up for the relationship.

DO NOT let him get away with making you feel bad about yourself.

Shoot it down when it starts.

MAKE him see that that kind of crap will not fly.

You will NOT allow it.

You are too confident and strong a woman to LET him get under your skin and make you feel bad about yourself.

Now.

Not tomorrow.

Now.

Tomorrow, he may have escalated to buying your clothes. And telling you you are an an ‘ugly cow’

And that ladies. Is emotional abuse.

Don’t let him.

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